He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
