people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize