I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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