you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
