If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
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