Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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