oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
