I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
