After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
