yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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