How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
