a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
