girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
