Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
