I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
