Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
