I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Bring me that man meat
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
