like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
