Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
