Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
