I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize