i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
where are my eyebrows?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
