I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
