on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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