I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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