So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
