So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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