why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
