this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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