Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
