Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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