420 ftw
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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