Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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