Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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