I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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