I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
