They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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