3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
