i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize