He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
