I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
