I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
