Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize