Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
