I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
