just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
