ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
