I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
