So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
