well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
