Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize