Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
