You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize