so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
