Dual....:-)
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
