i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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